Good Ol' Danish Police...

[Sabr]

Saw this today on Digg and wanted to share it with you guys. It's a funny read: http://rottenindenmark.vox.com/library/pos...about-cops.html

 

Main article (edited the bad language):

 

At 7 am last Wednesday, I got a door-buzz and a 'politi!' from the little door-phone. They were from Hvidovre, a non-place somewhere out in the suburbs. Thinking it was about my stolen wallet, I let the mid-40s, ripe-bellied officers into my apartment, the whole time thinking, 'Wow, your wallet gets stolen in Denmark and the cops visit to make sure you're OK. The service.' After they sat down in the kitchen, I asked what was up, and was told, 'Well, you stole a credit card and ordered a bunch of {censored} online. And we know about it.'

 

Coppa what?

 

'What? Wait. Wait. What. What?!' I said. 'Can we do this in English? I thought you just said I stole a credit card.'

'Your Danish is fine,' the dough-faced one said in Danish. 'We know you stole it, we know what you did. We're here to take your computer.'

'My computer, why?'

'We traced the transaction back to the wireless network in this apartment.'

'But we have an open wireless connection. It's unsecured.'

'The internet doesn't work that way.'

'What? Wait. What?'

 

This conversation repeated itself three or four times, and somehow moved into the bedroom, in front of my laptop.

 

Doughface: 'That one. We're taking it.'

Me: 'Well, I just bought that one two weeks ago, so it's not going to be much help.'

Doughface: 'What were you doing the night of November 15?'

Me: 'Rented a car, {censored}ed your father and played some backgammon. I'm sure I have receipts...' [OK, so I actually said 'I don't know']

Doughface: 'If you can't prove what you were doing that night, we're arresting you right now.'

Me: 'First of all, no you're not.' [Remember how I said I'm a {censored} when I'm speaking Danish?] 'You have no evidence against me at all. Secondly, it's not up to me to prove I didn't do this. It's up to you to prove that I did.'

Doughface: 'November 15!'

Me: 'Fine, lemme check my e-mails. I was probably at a concert or something.'

 

I sat down, opened my e-mail account and scrolled through to November, looking for invitations, confirmation e-mails, whatever.

 

Doughface: [audible gasp] 'If that computer's only two weeks old, how are you checking your e-mails from November?!' [Makes 'gotcha' face.]

Me: 'Wait. What?! These are on the internet. They aren't on my computer.'

Doughface: 'You just said it was two weeks old, but those e-mails say November!' [Gotcha Face intensifies to David Caruso Face]

Me: 'Internet!'

Doughface: 'If it's only two weeks old --'

Me: Internet.

 

The italics seemed to do it. Doughface backed off for a few minutes. We moved into my roommate's room. She has an original iMac.

 

'We have your roommate's permission to confiscate her computer,' the Ichabod Crane one said.

'Whatever,' I said. They had already assured me that we would get our laptops back that afternoon, so I figured the damage had already been done. Ichabod started rooting around under her desk.

'Where's the computer?' he said.

'On the desk. That's the computer,' I said.

'No, the computer.'

'That's the computer, dude.'

'That's the screen.' He had lapsed into the voice you use when you explain to your 6-year-old cousin how the toaster works. 'I mean the compuuuuuter. Understand?'

'Dude. That's the whole computer. Right there. The blue object the size of an armadillo.'

'No. Where the daaaaata goes. The computer part.'

'That is the computer. For Hell!' Danish swear words aren't as satisfying.

'So that's the entire computer, right there?'

I was standing there with a look on my face like I was watching a dog walk on its hind legs.

'New technology, huh?' he said.

I blew the dust off the keyboard and handed it to him. 'Do you mind if I check your badge again?'

 

Once I figured out the italics thing, it went a bit smoother.

 

'Could one of your friends have committed this crime on your computer, when you weren't looking?'

'I have unsecured internet. That means anyone can use it.'

'You mean your neighbors can log on to this internet connection?'

'YES THEY CAN. UNSECURED.'

'Oh. So maybe this wasn't done on your computer, just on your wireless network.'

'Will wonders never mother{censored}ing cease. Yes. It could have been anyone.'

 

They still took my computer. And my roommate's state of the art iMac 1.0. And our wireless router. I got a phone call two hours later ('Thank god,' was my first thought. 'They're actually cops.'), and was informed that there is a 'mountain' of police work for their IT department to do, so they don't know when I'll get my computer and router back. This was a week ago. I'm writing this at a smoky yet frigid internet cafe, blinking from the nicotine and ignoring the pube-scalping death metal coming from the overhead speakers. I blame you, suburbs.

 

[cmdshft]

This is {censored} hilarious.

 

I love that the cops had no idea what the {censored} the guy was talking about. Gold.

[trioptic]

sadly, it only gets worse from here

 

people get dumber, cops get more power, and the world keeps spinning.

[(MoC)]

I feel sorry for the dude actually. I think the IT department wil laught their ass off if they get a hold of the transcripts [conversation].

 

 

[rschultz101]

another story,... from germany,...

 

one day, ding dong,.... doorbell rang,....

nobody visits me in the morning,.... who can it be,...

--- take a look, 3 guys,...

.. still in pajamas,... 1 goverment offical, 1 police office, 1 state lawyer,...

... reading me my miranda rights,....

... police enshures entry,... goverment offical, asking for TV , anything with value ?!?

 

I'am,... can you explan , in pain german, what this is about,...

... oh, we are here to confiscate property, to pay dues,

-- what due's ?

... you have not payed your fire department bill !!

--- ok, how much is it ?

... with , outstanding bill, plus goverment paper work of 7.35, 46.27DM (~$32 [1989])

--- so, I'am, hang on, can I pay with debit, or visa,

... no, cash only, and right now,

--- ugh, hang on, let me find some, ...

got a 20, 5, couple singles, and about 8 1/2 bucks in change,...

.... they counted the money, gave me a receipt, and went on,

 

good morning,.... bell rings,.... how would you like it, to wake up to that ?!

[Paranoid Marvin]

[apowerr]

Haha. This really sucks for those roommates.

[Special-K]

 

Both those stories made my day.

[dakine]

Great story, but an unsecured wireless connection. I'll bet he will have a secured network after this. Hope he didn't have anything illegal on his computer like porn.

[dark4181]

wow. law enforcement officials are bloody stupid

[Special-K]

Great story, but an unsecured wireless connection. I'll bet he will have a secured network after this. Hope he didn't have anything illegal on his computer like porn.

Porn's illegal? (drags porn to the trash) No worries.

[yoda75]

I'd sue their pig asses. It is his right to leave his internet connection unsecured. Cops taking his stuff for that would be like them taking your house for leaving the window open. The fact that the police department is holding their computers for a prolonged period of time is also bull$hit. All they'd need to do is check the address the goods were shipped to. This doesn't require weeks to accomplish.

[Special-K]

I'd sue their pig asses. It is his right to leave his internet connection unsecured. Cops taking his stuff for that would be like them taking your house for leaving the window open. The fact that the police department is holding their computers for a prolonged period of time is also bull$hit. All they'd need to do is check the address the goods were shipped to. This doesn't require weeks to accomplish.

The laws might be different there. If it were here, then we'd all tell him to sue, but it's not. So you can't really say sue them bastards if the laws are different and they can do something like that.

[yoda75]

The laws might be different there. If it were here, then we'd all tell him to sue, but it's not. So you can't really say sue them bastards if the laws are different and they can do something like that.

 

Well, if the laws are that backwards then that's even more reason to sue. In order to change laws in any society you need to have a legal precedent. You can't get that without legal action.

[Alessandro17]

Well, I hope what I am going to say doesn't offend anybody.

I was in Copenhagen twice, but I ran away, the first time after less than 2 weeks, the second after 8 days.

The first time it was a very hot August. You couldn't buy cold drinks, only at ambient temperature, which means they were disgusting.

Food: the only takeaway I could find were smørrebrøds and hot dogs. Smørrebrøds are not bad, but they are cold open sandwiches. If you wanted warm food you had to go to a restaurant and spend a fortune. I don't know why people (especially foreigners) complain about British food, I find it quite satisfactory.

Buses: no air conditioning and you couldn't open the windows, thus they were worse than saunas on wheels!

I managed to get a room within a household. The man and the woman were arguing very loud all the time.

I also managed to get a job in a factory, an extremely tiring one.

So one day I decided to resign and leave the country.

When I told my foreman I was resigning, he asked: "Are you a socialist?"

Me: "What has it to do with anything?"

 

I'll tell you about my second experience another time

[Numberzz]

They got owned.

[(MoC)]

"He stole my internets!!!!"

 

LMFAO!

[Special-K]

Well, if the laws are that backwards then that's even more reason to sue. In order to change laws in any society you need to have a legal precedent. You can't get that without legal action.

To YOU they seem backwards cause your used to the laws here. Other countries have completely different laws and systems. You can't say 'Sue those pigs'. If Danish laws say the cops could do that, then you can't argue. It's the law there. Everybody has their own way of thinking, so to the Danish that might not be a backwards law.

 

 

And Alessandro, I like British food. Well except fish and chips and earl grey tea.

[Alessandro17]

And Alessandro, I like British food. Well except fish and chips and earl grey tea.

[InorganicMatter]

Well, if the laws are that backwards then that's even more reason to sue. In order to change laws in any society you need to have a legal precedent. You can't get that without legal action.

Haha, you kids must have no idea how it works outside America. Whatever the laws says, goes, over there.

 

Well except fish and chips and earl grey tea.

Dude...Earl Grey tea is ing amazing!!! How could one not love that stuff?!

[Special-K]

Haha, you kids must have no idea how it works outside America. Whatever the laws says, goes, over there.

EXACTLY what I was trying to tell him.

Dude...Earl Grey tea is ing amazing!!! How could one not love that stuff?!

I barely taste any flavor in it. I'm more a fan of strawberry, vanilla, raspberry tea. Separate or all together. Actually those are the only ones that I can remember from the big box.

[(MoC)]

Dude, seriously, people over there have a better idea about how things run. I never heard of something like a "McDonalds Coffee" lawsuit in Europe not because it wasn't broadcast here, they would have done everything to make themselves look less like idiots but because IT NEVER HAPPENED AND IT NEVER WILL!